We won't sleep together?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
