I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
