Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
