At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
