Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
