don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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