Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
