I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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