Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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