she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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