so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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