Do you still have your period?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
