I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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