Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
