Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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