I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
