If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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