Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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