How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
