something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
