Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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