Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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