He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
