Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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