Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
