the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
