I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
