I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
