he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
