I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
