He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
