If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
