I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
