he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
