Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
