Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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