i permit you to call me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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