Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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