so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
