i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Houston, we have a blender
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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