I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
