Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I supernannyed him into submission
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize