walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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