dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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