god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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