why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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