i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
