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Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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