I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
