Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
