I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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