dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
