Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
