She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
