Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My vagina is officially offended.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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