I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
