i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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