That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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